Teachers and parents really need to be aware that this
behavior—excluding certain kids and saying really cruel
things—happens all day, every day in schools. They have to
be looking out for signs of it so they can help stop it.
Adults should also be aware of signs that someone is the
perpetrator of relational aggression. Dan Olweus, author of
the book Bullying at School, gives the following
signs that someone may be relationally aggressive:
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May have strong needs to dominate and subdue other
students, to assert themselves with power and
threat, and to get their own way; they may brag
about their actual or imagined superiority
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May tease (repeatedly) in nasty ways, taunt,
intimidate, threaten or ridicule
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May be average, above/below average in popularity,
but often have support from a small group of peers
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May be hot tempered, easily angered, impulsive, and
have low frustration tolerance; they have difficulty
conforming to rules and tolerating adversities and
delays, and may try to gain advantage by cheating
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Are often not anxious or insecure and they typically
have average or better than average self esteem |
If there is a lack of adult reaction to aggression and
bullying, girls believe that adults don't care. Adults are
seldom on hand when bullying occurs, but we can help to
bully proof our girls and help them realize that relational
aggression hurts everyone; the victim, the bully and the
by-stander |
